It was always you
by Newgirlystuff
Summary: Many things have changed since Nick and Jess decided to break up. They both agreed to move on, and now Jess is ready to commit herself to another man - Ryan. Is it too late for Nick to win her back?
1. Chapter 1

It'd been almost two years since Nick had decided to leave the apartment. Seven months into their break up, Jess had met Ryan, the new teacher at her school. Even though he'd pretended to be happy for his friend, it had eventually become too much for him. Living in the same apartment had stopped being a possibility, and he had decided to move out. When he gathered up the courage to tell his roommates, Jess had immediatly tried to stop him, but her efforts were of no use. He'd assured her they could still be friends, but he said he needed to have his own space in order for that to happen. Truth was, they had slowly started to grow apart, with him working extra long hours and her busying practically all of her free time with Ryan. The guys still hanged out together almost every night, but her nights were usually reserved to her boyfriend. She did try to stop by ther bar from time to time, but the frequency of her visits had fallen off within the first few weeks.

When he announced he'd finally found and rented a new apartment, all of the roommates had helped him move out. Boxes had scattered around the loft for days, reminding them all of the fact that he was really leaving. Once he was finally settled in, he promised to keep visiting the loft as often as he could, assuring an ugly-crying Schmidt that he was in no way going to forget about him. _I love you, man, _he'd said hoping to put a stop to the whole drama act his friend had started.

It took Jess six months before she accepted Ryan's proposal to move in with him. Schmidt had put up one hell of a fight, trying to convince her it was way too soon. Even Cece had tried to talk to her out of the idea, but she'd already made up her mind. _I love him, Cece. And when you love someone, it's simple. _The words made her heart twitch in her chest, but she shrugged the memories off and emptied her room, ignoring the snorts and the side-looks from the roommates. Winston was the only one who supported her from the beginning, even though he had retreated to his room as soon as the yelling between her and Schmidt started. He'd never seen his roommates arguing that way, but he thought it would be best to keep his real feelings to himself. His head pressed against the door, Winston closed his eyes and hoped for the heated argument to not end their friendship. Unfortunate him.

_"Jess, I know you",_ _Schmidt yelled. "You are lying to yourself, if you think moving out will make you forget about the fact that you love Nick."_

_"Why would you say that, Schmidt? If you really knew me, you'd know that's not true!", she screamed back. "I loved Nick, I really did. But I moved on, and so did he. It's been over a year, it's time for you to let go of it.""_

_"Whatever, Jess. It's just a matter of time before this whole thing blows up in your face. You'll be coming back before you know it", he stated, folding his arms across his chest and staring at her shaking form._

_"You are wrong, Schmidt", Jess shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "This is important to me. And I thought you were my friend, I thought I could count on you", she choked out, lowering her voice to barely above a whisper._

_Schmidt softened his gaze. "I love you, Jess", he said, taking a step towards her. "But don't ask me to lie to you."_

Those were the last words they spoke. Jess moved out two days later, and she'd only seen him in the rare ocassions she'd stopped by either the bar or the loft. She did keep in touch with Winston, talking over on the phone several times a month. He'd answer her unasked questions, the ones she refused to ask but couldn't wait to hear about in his softest voice. He filled her in with every detail, assuring her that she'd done what was best for herself. _I hate to put you through this_, she told him one night, about six months after she'd moved out._ I know it's not fair to have you mediating all the time. I want you to know that I love you, guys. I wish thing were different between us. _He would politely ask her about school, about Ryan, barely listening to her enthusiastic rantings. Every time she called, he silently wished to finally hear her say that it was over between them, that she was coming back home.

That's why the words _I'm getting married_ made him drop the phone to the floor. _Three weeks from now, summer wedding, August 22th, crazy, Cece... _he could hear her words coming from the phone, but his brain seemed not to process them.

The invitations came in the next day, and after a huge fight with Cece, Schmidt had to give up. He drove himself to Jess' place and knocked on her door, a smile lighting up her face as she allowed him to pull her into his embrace. _"I'm sorry, Jess"_, he whispered into her hair. _"I'll be there for you",_ he promised. Ryan had popped up from behind her, and he had politely offered he'd stayed over for dinner. Nodding his head, Schmidt followed her friend inside the apartment and pretended to be happy for her. He laughed at his jokes and smiled at her cute singing and naïve questions. She was still the same woman they'd all grown to love over the years, but he knew she'd changed deep inside. She still wore her cute dresses, her hair long and wavy, and her eyes were as big and blue as he remembered them to be. But she was different. _"I've missed you, Jess",_ he said, kissing her cheeks before leaving. _"If there's anything I can do, let me_ know." Just as he was turning to leave, her hand on his shoulder stopped him.

_Turning around, his stomach flipped. In the dim light of the hall, he could not quite distinguish her features, but he knew exactly what she was about to say._

_"Do you think he'll come?", she whispered, meeting his gaze. A sad smile crept on his face, and he breathed deeply._

_"I don't know, Jess", he answered honestly. "Would you?"_


	2. Chapter 2

The ring had been in his drawer for a little longer than three years. Nick pulled the box out and clutched it hard on his hand, feeling the tears burning in his eyes. Opening it, he took the ring out and stared at the beautiful piece in his hand. It was a simple silver ring, with a beautiful diamond in the middle and small sapphires on each side of it. A sad smile crept on his face as he remembered the moment he'd picked out the ring, the only thought on his mind being how perfect it was for her. He hadn't planned on buying it, but then he'd seen it in the shop window and he couldn't stop himself- he just knew he had to get it for her. As he walked out of the store with the red velvet box safely hidden in his pocket, he found himself grinning from ear to ear at the thought of actually asking her to marry him. Nick Miller, asking a girl to marry him. Who would have thought? The idea of marriage had always terrified him, and he'd been sure he would never see a woman walking down the aisle towards him. But Jess... She was nothing like any other woman he'd ever met. Everything about her was special. Her vintage style, her bright smile and those gorgeous ocean blue eyes that drowned him. Her innocence, her capacity to light up any room just by walking in. Perfect. Suddenly, that idea didn't seem crazy to him anymore. Maybe it actually was what he wanted.

He was going to do it. He was _actually_ going to ask Jessica Day to marry him. All he had to do was think of the perfect way to do it.

_"Hey, babe."_

_His arms went around her waist and he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. She smiled and closed her eyes, her back rested against his chest and her palms flat against the kitchen counter. "You're back! I thought you were gonna go out with the boys", she sang lightly._

_"I would much rather be here with you", he muttered into her soft skin, the smell of vanilla and Jess filling his nostrils. She turned around in his arms and faced him, kissing his lips slightly. "You're so cute", she told him with a giggle. Her fingers traced his jaw lovingly, his stubble tickling her. He pressed her closer to him, his hands resting on her hips as he nuzzled her neck. A sigh escaped her lips and she leaned into him, her arms going around his strong shoulders._

_"I love you", she whispered. Her fingers ran through his hair as she pulled back to look into his eyes. A smile splattered on his face and he felt his chest swelling with love. No matter how many times he heard her say those words, it always managed to make his heart beat faster. His hand grazed her cheek and he took her lips between his again. He lifted her in his arms and started walking them towards their room, her hands digging into his shoulders as her legs wrapped around his waist._

_"I love you too, Jess", he breathed, pressing her down on the mattress. Her alabaster skin and blue eyes sparkled in the dim light of the room, and he had to stop to look at her. She was breathtaking, and it was at that moment he decided that she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "Let me show you how much."_

When his invitation came in the mail, a year and a half into their break up, he'd stared at it until he felt his eyes filling up with tears. _She was getting married. _He drove himself to the bar, and after a solid three hours of heavy drinking, he felt a pair of eyes burning into him from the distance. She was nothing like Jess; tall, blonde, and overly tanned. But maybe that was what he needed. Grabbing her hand, they stumbled through the doors and hailed a cab, barely making it to his apartment before he'd ripped her clothes off. He pushed her down onto his bed and buried himself in her lucious body, willing for it to ease his pain. When she finally drifted off, he lay down, staring at the ceiling until the sun started to light the room.

_She was getting married._

Two days later, her name popped up on his phone. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, knowing she deserved for him to answer.

_"Hey, Jess."_

_"Hello, Nick. It's good to hear your voice again."_

_"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been busy, you know? I don't know if you heard, but I am now co-owner of the bar. We have been very busy this past months, it's been crazy around here."_

_"Yes, Winston's been telling me about it. Congratulations, Nick. That's great news."_

_"Thanks, it's... it's pretty exciting, I guess."_

_"Listen, Nick, I..."_

_"Oh, yeah. Congratulations, Jess. I'm really happy for you. I was going to call you yesterday, but something came up and then I just kind of lost track of time."_

_"Don't worry, it's OK. But I was wondering if you are going to...you know, are you...?"_

_"Right, about that... I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it, I'm sorry."_

_"Nick, I... it would really mean a lot to me if you were there."_

_"I can't... do it. I'm sorry, Jess. It's just... I can't."_

_"Nick, I... I really miss you."_

_"I miss you too, Jess. But I can't... Don't ask me to...please."_

_"Would you at least meet up with me? I need to see you before... Maybe we could grab lunch together?"_

_"That's...that sounds great."_

_"Really? Are you free this week?"_

_"Not...really, no."_

_"Oh, well..."_

_"What about,...like, next Friday? Would that be OK with you?"_

_"Next Friday? That's like a...long time. Give me a sec. I have to check my... Oh. Can we do it Wednesday? The 18th? I have something planned for that Friday."_

_"Sure."_

_"Will you, uhm... Where do you wanna meet?"_

_"Well, we..."_

_"What about..."_

_"We'll...figure it out."_

_"Yeah. I'll text you, OK?"_

_"Great! See you in...wow, two weeks?"_

_"Told you I'm a busy man now, Jessica."_

_"Hey, Nick?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I've missed you."_

_"Me too, Jess. Me too."_


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting down and waiting for her to show up at the restaurant, he already knew it'd been a bad idea to agree to it. Seeing her four days before her wedding... He stood up, sweat pooling in his back as he tried to locate the exit. But just as he was about to leave the booth and head for the door, he saw her. Watching her walking towards him, he felt all air leave his lungs at the sight. It'd been over ten months since he'd last seen her, and she was just... perfect. As she made her way through the restaurant, heads turned around to focus on the gorgeous woman that was completely oblivious to the effect her beauty had on them. She was wearing a short red dress, her hair was long, and her soft curls fell loose around her shoulders, framing her soft features and bringing out her amazing blue eyes. Those eyes that he'd once thought would only reflect her love for him, but were now filled with love for someone else. Nick felt a punch to his stomach._ She was happy._

"Hey, Nick!", he heard her voice calling him, snapping him out of his trance.

"Hey, Jess", he offered her a smile as she leveled up with him. "It's good to see you", he said, before she buried her face in his shoulder and held tight onto him. He could smell her fruity shampoo, mixed with her vanilla perfume and something that was just... _Jess. _He swallowed the lump in his throat and hugged her back, unwilling to let go of her just yet. They stood like that until a smiling waiter approached them, menus in hand.

"We should...", he motioned to the booth and stepped back to let her in.

"Yeah", she smiled, sitting down. His stare flashed to her hands- looking for the ring he knew was there- but he quickly forced his eyes back to her face when he spotted the band around her finger.

"So how have you been?", he started, willing for his stomach to settle down. She smiled again, her eyes shining as she stared at him.

And just like that, they fell into an easy conversation. He filled her in with every detail he could remember, not wanting to hear about Ryan and her. Because he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stand it. She didn't seem to mind his sudden eloquence, and the smile seemed to be imprinted in her face. Realizing that it had been a while since she'd smiled that hard, she shook her head.

And just like that, the fighting started. None of them knew how, but suddenly they both were yelling at each other in anger. After the waiter had not so politely suggested they left the restaurant, they found themselves on the street. Not caring that they were making people turn their heads to look at them, they were both past the point of no return.

_"What the fuck was I supposed to do, Jess? You were the one who said it!"_

_"You didn't even try to stop me! You didn't do anything!"_

_"What did you want me to do? You said we had nothing in common and then you just...you walked away, Jess!"_

_"Whatever, Nick. I'm getting married, it doesn't matter anymore!"_

_"Like hell it doesn't!"_

_"Nick, just stop it, OK? Stop it! I just wanted to see you again! I wanted to meet with you, and get my friend back, and then..."_

_"What about what I want, Jess? What about me?"_

_"What about you?"_

_"You didn't talk to me for almost a year, and then you ask me to be there when you marry another dude?"_

_"His name is Ryan, Nick, and leave him out of this!"_

_"'His name is Ryan, Nick?'" "Is that the best you can do?"_

_"What do you want, Nick?", she said, the tears falling freely now._

_"I...", he stopped himself, his anger fading instantly at the sight of her tears. "Jess, I...", he stepped forward tentatively._

_"What?", she choked out. "What, Nick?"_

_"Jess, don't... don't do this, please. Don't marry him", he repeated the words that had started their fight. It had been going so well... and then he'd been unable to stop those words from leaving his lips. "I love you."_

_"Don't do this, Nick", she cried. "You have no right to say that, after all this time!"_

_"But, I do, Jess. I do. God, I love you, and I can't stop."_

_"Nick..."_

_"I love you, Jess", he repeated, choking on his words as he desperately tried to get her to listen to him._

_"Stop saying that!", she snapped, her voice high and her face red from the tears. "I'm marrying Ryan, Nick."_

_"Do you love me?", he asked, ignoring her._

_"I don't... No, I don't, Nick. I love Ryan" she repeated, her hands tightening around her body as she tried to swallow the tears that were spilling from her eyes. _

_Stepping forward, he took her hand in his, ignoring the tug she gave and the way her eyes widened when he touched her. "Look at me in the eyes, Jess, and tell me you don't love me."_

_Seeing her frozen in place, he repeated his words. "Tell me you don't love me and I'll go. I'll never bother you again."_


	4. Chapter 4

Her eyes focused on his figure sitting in the hood of his car, twisting a box in his hands as he just stared into the sunset ahead. She stopped herself from coming any closer, her eyes squinting to adjust to the soft sunlight that was reflecting on the water as she watched him from the other side of the street. She knew it was the place he'd drive to whenever he wanted to be alone. Ever since his cancer scare, and the night they all spent together at that same beach, she knew he would drive there when he felt sad, trying to hide from the rest of the world. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her ragging breath before she approached him. Suddenly, he stood up and walked around his car, throwing the box carelessly into the trashcan before he jumped inside and closed the door. Before she had a chance to come any closer, she saw the car driving away in the distance. She stepped out on the road and yelled his name, but was met with nothing but her own voice reverberating on the empty streets. Pulling out her phone, she dialed quickly and waited for Cece to pick up. On the second ring, she heard her friend on the other side of the line. The tears about to start falling, she sat down on one of the benches and listened to Cece. _I'm picking you up, sweetie, and then we'll drive to the loft. He'll call the guys sooner or later._

Her hands shaking, she walked across the street and looked inside the trashcan, her heart flipping when her eyes took in the velvet box. She pulled it out, careful not to touch anything else, and opened it. A loud gasp left her lips and she felt her body sliding down into the ground, her eyes filling with tears as she sat by the side of the road. That's how Cece found her fifteen minutes later. She killed the engine and ran over to her friend, forcing her to her feet before she had a chance to speak and embracing her body strongly. The model's eyes fell to the box in Jess' grip, recognizing a box Nick had shown her over a year ago, and she hugged her friend closer. _Come on, baby, let's get out of here._

"He won't answer any of my calls", Schmidt cried. His eyes were red and puffy, and he was pacing the apartment. His breathing was uneven, and he had thrown himself at Jess the minute she stepped inside. They had called him from the car, and his initial happiness when he heard there would be no wedding had been quickly replaced by anxiety at having all his phonecalls to Nick go to voicemail. Hugging her petite frame strongly, he pressed a light kiss to her hair and felt her body stiffening against him. He stepped back and let go of her, fixing his eyes on Cece.

"Have you checked his old room?", the model asked, pulling Jess to her side and throwing her arm around her friend's shoulders.

"Cece, you know I haven't stepped in there since he moved out!"

"Well, I don't know, Schmidt. I'm trying to help here!", she yelled back, tightening the grip she had around Jess' shoulders.

"He came here...yesterday", he muttered. "Nick. Winston was out, and he was here for like an hour."

"What?", Cece frowned, her eyes flickering between Schmidt and Winston, who was awkwardly trying to comfort Jess by holding her hand.

"After he and Jess... he stopped by.", Schmidt clenched his fists. "He was not...OK."

"Did he say something?"

"Not really. We had a few beers, and I passed out on the couch. He was gone when I woke up", he admitted. "He told me about...", Schmidt stopped himself. "He told me about your argument outside the restaurant, and then... I guess we just... I tried to be there for him, you know?", he finished, as his friends stared at him. The room fell silent, and he met his girlfriend's eyes.

Motioning her head in the direction of Nick's old room, she waited for him to snap. Schmidt walked to the door and yanked it open, pushing himself inside as Cece turned to Jess. Winston fell back on the couch, burying his face in his hands.

"Honey, it's OK. You did the right thing." Without tearing her eyes away from the box in her hands, she nodded her head. Chewing on her lower lip, Jess sighed and clutched the box tighter.

She had bailed on her own wedding less than three days before the ceremony, leaving a confused, angry and hurt Ryan behind. Their families had been about to flight in to Los Angeles when the unexpected calls had stopped them. She'd been awake for over thirty hours, and tiredness was starting to get to her. After their fight, she'd returned to the apartment she and Ryan had rented together only to find him packing up his things. He had tried to shrug off her attempts at trying to explain herself to him, until they became imposible to ignore. After a lot of yelling and crying, she'd managed to apologize to him yet again. She had tried to pack a small overnight bag for herself, wanting to give him time alone and staying at Cece's, but he'd shut her off. His bags by the door, he'd turned to look at his ex-fiancé for the last time. Seeing her face contorted in distress, he felt his heart shattering to pieces as he opened his arms for the woman he loved. Jess buried her face in his shoulder, clunging strongly to him as he held her while she cried.

_"I'm sorry", was all he heard falling from her lips. "I'm so sorry."_

_"I know", he whispered. "You should have told me, Jess", he said bitterly. "All this time I thought you loved me, and..."_

_"I did too, Ryan. I swear I did", she interrupted, her eyes burning with tears. "But I can't do it. It's just..."_

_"Nick."_

_"I'm sorry, Ryan. I thought it was over, I wanted it to be over. You were... You've been...", she sighed. "It's just..."_

_"You love him", he stated, simply._

_She could do nothing but nod her head, her chest heavy with guilt. She loved him. She'd never stopped loving him._

_Not wanting to fight with her anymore, Ryan let his arms fall slightly from their strong embrace. Her face told him she was telling the truth, and he sighed. "I guess deep inside... I always knew it. I thought I could make you fall in love with me, and I thought I did."_

_"I'm..."_

_"I know, Jess", he repeated. "I've always known."_

_"I never meant to hurt you, Ryan", she whispered against his shoulder, and a sad smile appeared on his face._

_He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened his grip around her briefly, closing his eyes before he released her. "I'll have Mike come help me with the rest of my stuff tomorrow." His fingers grazed her cheek softly and he took a step back. Bending over, he retrieved his bags and opened the door._

_"Goodbye, Jess."_


End file.
